Game Over
by jrog96
Summary: My rendition of how Katniss and Peeta grow back together and start their little family. Pre-Epilogue. Rated T for now, but it could change. If you haven't read the books, just an fyi there are spoilers.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hi! This is my first FF ever so please tell me what I did wrong/right so I can fix or continue. It's another Peeta/Katniss just cause I love them so much! I really hope you enjoy!**

I've lost everything and everyone. I ruined the lives of those I loved the most by trying to protect them. I started the rebellion. I was the spark that led to flames. Those same flames that burned 12 to the ground, that lost Peeta to the capitol...that killed my sister. My innocent baby sister.

I lie in my bed and try to remember who I am._ My name is Katniss Everdeen. I ruin lives. My sister is dead, Peeta is gone, and it is my entire fault._ I am no mockingjay; I'm just a broken girl. I returned to the Victor's Village in District 12 two weeks ago. Greasy Sae and her granddaughter come over sometimes to try and coax me into eating and getting out of bed. I don't see why they try; I'm just an empty shell of someone who used to be. I'm lost within myself and no matter how hard I try I can't find my way back to me. Dr. Aurelius calls three times a day, I never answer. I just lay here in my bed, like a useless corpse.

I try not to sleep or think, but when sleep does come the nightmares shake me to the core. Reenactments of Prim's death, Peeta trying to kill me, dead Finnick, dead Rue, Beetee and the others all making appearances and all ending the same, cold dead corpses. I wake up screaming every time. I feel as if I haven't slept since the train ride to the second games, in Peeta's arms. As it is now I probably will never sleep through the night again. With this thought in mind I drift off into what is sure to be another horrid nightmare.

The next day I'm awoken by banging sounds from someone banging what looked like a large wooden brush into my nightstand. I sit up in the bed and realize its Haymitch. I haven't seen or talked to him since I returned home. I supposed he was just drinking his life away; he didn't need to tend to some girl who had no will to live.

"Get up."

He opens the curtains and lets the blinding sun shine through. I don't answer him. I just stare at him hoping he can see how much I loathe him at this moment.

"I said get up!"

Now he's yelling. He pulls off my comforter and pulls me out of the bed.

Standing is such an odd sensation after lying for so long. I don't really know how long I've been lying in this bed for, but now it feels like forever.

I continue to stare blankly at Haymitch. It's been so long since I've really talked to anyone, I may have forgotten how to talk.

"You know, Peeta and I fought so hard to keep you alive, all this time. I wonder what he would see if he saw how pathetic you were acting now. Maybe I should go ask him...he's right outside you know. Been here for about a week now, but of course you would know that if you got out of the damn bed and started living. The boy's been through hell and back and still functions better than you. At least he's trying."

Peeta's back.

This is all that my brain registers. The boy with the bread. My boy. The boy who confuses me more than any other person could ever. The boy who I have risked everything for. The boy I lost to the Capitol. He's returned.

I realize that I'm crying when a tear drips on to my hand. I stand straight and look into Haymitch's worn face.

"What do you want?" My voice sounds rugged and my throat feels sore from the lack of speech.

"I want you to live Katniss. We didn't go through that entire rebellion and two games just for you to die from killing yourself...your sister didn't die for you to kill yourself. She died so you can go on and live."

"I don't know how...it's so hard...I killed them...they're all dead and it's all my fault." The soft falling tears have turned into a full on stream of salt water on my face. I can't shake this guilt.

"Get over it. You did what had to be done. You didn't kill anyone. So like I said get over it. You need to get back to reality. Start living again because life, no matter how you see it, is going on. You can start with a shower and breakfast. I'll be waiting."

I watched him leave the room. I picked up the brush and threw it across the room. I don't want to live. Not when I have no one. I sit for a few minutes, and something pushes me to get up and grab a towel and head into the bathroom. Haymitch was relentless after all.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks so much for your reviews/alerts/favorites they mean the world! It's going a bit slow right now I feel, but I promise after this chapter it will pick up and the chapter will get progressively longer. Please continue to tell me what I did wrong/right so I can make this a good as possible for you all :D**

I had forgotten how wonderful it felt to take a hot shower. The jets of warm water seemed to loosen the ties that bound me to my bed with every minute. Once I felt clean I hopped out dried off and braid my hair. I threw on whatever I saw first in my dresser and went downstairs to meet Haymitch.

"About time, sweetheart. I thought I was going to have to come give you another wake up call."

"Funny…where's Greasy Sae? Shouldn't she be here right now?" I saw breakfast ready on the table and I knew Haymitch hadn't cooked for sure.

"No I sent here away you and I have business to tend to today."

"What business? You didn't say anything about business! I'm not leaving this house." I may have finally woken up a bit to realize I can't lie in bed for the rest of my life, but I wasn't ready to leave yet. What if I bumped into him? I wouldn't know what to say, or what to do.

"Haymitch I can't what if I bump into Peeta…I can't ...I don't know how to deal with him."

"Sweetheart it's going to happen sooner or later, you can hide from him forever, he would never do this to you; shut you out from his life. He trying and you're just judging him. You don't even know Peeta anymore. You need to give him a chance. Now let's go and get started with the day."

He doesn't give me a chance to answer him. Haymitch grabs my upper arm and drags me out the house. The sunlight is blinding and it's warm. There's so much air outside, I feel a bit light headed. Haymitch leads me away from my house towards the forest surrounding the Victor's Village. We stop right at fence.

"Go." He didn't need to further explain what he meant. Haymitch was very clear. I needed to get back to the old me as best as I could and the best way to start was to reunion with the forest and hunting.

I slowly walk through the woods feeling like a shadow of my previous life. A life where I almost starved to death. A life where I risked everything just for food. Continuing along the path I found my father's bow and arrows carefully concealed exactly where I left them as if the war had never happened. In fact the entire forest was exactly the same. Nothing changed, except for me. I changed. I'm different.

Haymitch was right; life has gone on and there's nothing I can do about it. Naturally I fall into my pattern of hunting. By the end of my trek I've got two rabbits from snares, four squirrels, and a goose. I felt so exhilarated, better than I've felt in ages. I realize then that it's starting to get dark and wonder how long I've been out here. It was so easy to just loose myself to the forest. So easy to be the old me for a few hours, but I knew I had to return to reality sometime.

I made my way back to the village to find Haymitch had gone. He knew me so well. He knew how to break me out of the cage of guilt and pity I had built. I will owe him for the rest of my life.

I walk towards my home when I see the blond hair of my neighbor bent over on the ground. Next to him was a wheelbarrow with beautiful flowers; Primroses.

"What are you doing?"

His piercing blue eyes look up into my dull gray. "I wanted to plant them, for her."

"Oh." With that I ran into the house. I found the roses that Snow had left as a warning so long ago and threw them into a fire and began to cry. I cried for Prim, and for the boy I thought I lost.

When I finally picked myself up I went to the kitchen to clean the meat. Greasy Sae was happy with all the meat and made a nice stew.

Her granddaughter and Haymitch were supposed to join us for dinner so I went up to my room to change into cleaner clothes. As I came down the stairs the doorbell rang which was odd, Greasy Sae's daughter and Haymitch knew to just walk in.

I opened the door to find myself staring into the eyes of Peeta Mellark, and in his hands were two loaves of freshly baked bread.

"Peeta"


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey guys so I'm sorry for not posting yesterday. I want to make it a daily thing because I know how much I hate waiting for the stories I'm subbed to. So because I missed yester day I will write as much as possible. Also I have the entire day today to just lay around and do nothing so I mind-as-well write :D so keep those reviews coming I love reading them, they keep me motivated!**

The smell of nutmeg and cinnamon drift into the room as Peeta makes his way to the kitchen. I'm still standing at the door after not being able to invite him in. All I got out was his name. I couldn't form any other sentences. Memories from the beach, and my dreams all hit me at once and I can't look him in the eye. I've hurt him too much, and he probably hates me now.

I finally get a grip and go sit in the living room next to the fire. He sits across from me on the sofa just staring. I try not to make eye contact because I don't want to see the hate, I can't take it. I know he's not my Peeta anymore; the capitol took him from me. He now sees who I truly am and what I've done. I took away his family and caused him so much pain, I deserve to be hated.

Sae calls us over for dinner and of course Peeta sits next to me. He's obviously still questioning whether to kill me or not. He still hasn't said a word to me, and it kind of miffs me. Throughout the entire meal he make's conversation and goofs off with Haymitch and Greasy Sae's granddaughter. It's as if I'm not in the room. Not hungry anymore I offer to wash up the dishes so Sae can go home early and Haymitch have no reason to whine.

"You guys go home. Sae thanks so much dinner was wonderful. Goodnight." I turn to the sink and let them let their selves out. They live here just as much as me now. I completely ignore Peeta just as he's been doing me. Two can play that game.

After I finish the dishes I turn around and find that Peeta is still here sitting in my living room. "Peeta! What the hell? I thought you left!"

"I needed to talk to you" He didn't look at me. He kept his eyes on his worn hands.

"Oh, so you decided to wait till after everyone left to speak a word to me. Nice. What is it?" My voice came out more hard then I intended and when he finally looks at me I can see the hurt. Suddenly I am remorseful. I've cost him so much, put him through so much, and here I go hurting him yet again.

"I'm sorry-"

"No, its okay I deserve it. I haven't said a word to you all night and that's not right of me. It's just hard you know. I mean I much better than I was before, but some memories are still shiny. Most of tonight I was just trying not to bug you with my real or not real questions in front of everyone. I wanted it to be private. Just between you and me."

He's staring at me. I can feel it. And when I do look up into those eyes that I love so much, I see the boy that I care so much for, not someone who hates me. Only love, hope, and wonder.

I sit down across from him intending to so the polite thing and give him space, but Peeta stands up and walks over to sit right next to me.

"Umm…okay then, ask away I guess." I was nervous. We hadn't been close, or even really had a real conversation since the beach. I wanted so much just to go back to the old us, back to when thing were easier. Then again we thought we were dying then, so of course things were easy

We sit for hours going through his questions and memories. The ice between us has finally broken and we stopped looking at each other like strangers. We even managed to laugh at the memory of Haymitch fall off the stage the first time we ever saw him.

"I missed this" I day quietly accidently giving him a small truth of my real feelings.

"I do too. I missed you. I missed everything about you." Peeta looks at me and I look away. It's not that I don't love him. I do. It's just that my love hurts in the worst way possible I can't hurt him anymore. Sure I could tell this beautiful man sitting next to me that yes I love you more than life and live carefree until something bad happens, or I can prevent any further harm coming to him by staying friends. The only one hurting would be me, and that's how it should be. I don't deserve happiness. I don't even deserve this life.

I walk Peeta to the door and we say goodnight. He invites me over for breakfast in the morning and before my brain can decide I say yes.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks all of you for reading the next chapter will be up later tonight. Sorry for the typos. Please review let me know how I'm doing! Love you all!**

I wake in the morning after dreams of rabid monkey's and parachutes. I shower and proceed to get dressed. There's no way to get out of breakfast now that it's morning already. I should have just called last night and made something up. Better yet I should have never said yes. Too late now.

I settle on a pretty blue blouse that hangs off the shoulder and comfortable black slacks. Now it's time to do my hair which is a mess. Detangling takes forever, but when I'm done I look decent. My long hair covers the burn scars on my neck and collarbone so I decide to leave it down. No need to give Peeta reasons to gawk, I'm unattractive enough.

I head out across my lawn to Peeta's and of course he's wait out on the porch for me with a brilliant smile on his face. He almost looks like the old Peeta.

"Hi." I say and give him a small smile.

"Good morning. Come in."

He leads me into the kitchen. There's so much bread and fruit for a second I felt like I was back in the capitol with all this food. There was a large stack of what looked like circular flattened bread that I had never seen before. Needless to say, Peeta went all out for this breakfast.

"I thought maybe this would make up for yesterday.." He must have seen the look on my face.

"Peeta..you didn't..you have nothing to make up for. This is amazing. How did you find the time to make all this? And where in the world did you get all this fruit, this could feed a dozen families for two weeks."

"Don't worry about it. You going to sit, or did you plan on eating while standing?"

I just realized that he had sat down on the other side of the mound of food. I took the seat across from him not know what exactly to do. Peeta must have sensed my discomfort because he immediately got two plates. He passed out the flattened bread and some sort of sticky brown liquid topped it.

"What is that?"

"They're called pancakes. They're sort of like a flat cake and people usually eat them with syrup…which is the brown stuff. If you don't want them I can get you something else-"

"No. I've just never heard of them."

We ate in silence. The pancakes quickly became my favorite dish of Peeta's massive breakfast feast, and I ate almost the entire stack. Some had bits of chocolate in them while others had blueberry and nuts.

It was only when I finished my fifth pancake that I realized Peeta had stopped eating. I was getting ready to make a sarcastic comment when I looked up and realized his eyes were closed and he was gripping his knife like a weapon. His lips were moving, but no sound coming out. All I could make out of it was not real, not real. I knew what was happening.

"Peeta.." I said calmly…I had to stay calm. I had to help him through it. "Peeta listen to me. It's not real whatever it is okay. I'm here-"

"Katniss leave; please I don't want to hurt you."

He was trying to protect me, but he was the one who needed protecting. I walked to the other side of the table and sat next to him. I placed my hands on his shoulders and my forehead to his. "Peeta breathe. I'm here and I'm not leaving you. Peeta, please stay with me."

Slowly his grip on the knife loosened and he opened his eyes. He cupped my face with his hands and looked into my eyes. His thumb brushed away a few stray tears as he said "Always."

I helped him clean up afterward. We hadn't even made a dent in the pile of food. We decided to bring some over to Haymitch later. I found myself regretting that breakfast was over, I didn't want to leave him yet. He wouldn't let me wash the dishes or clean off the table so I sat a watched.

When he was done he came and sat next to me. "Thank you. For everything" he said while taking my hand.

"I should be the one thanking you. I ate enough for months."

"You know what I mean Katniss."

"Anytime Peeta. That's what we do, we protect each other remember?"

He smiled at my quoting him.

"I don't want to leave." I tell him. I didn't mean to, but it slipped out.

He laughed at my expression and simply said "So don't."

For the rest of the day, I watched him bake bread for the families that returned to District 12 and paint his memories on canvases. He even taught me a few card tricks that I sucked at, and got angry with. Before we knew it, it was dark outside, and it seemed like a good time to go.

We said good night and I left him at his door. I'm sure he watched me until I got into my house. What was I doing? How could I spend all day fooling around with him after I had already told myself I wasn't going to go down that road? I can't just lead Peeta on. I love him, but he can't know...he can never know. He'll only get more hurt, more damaged. We could be friend's maybe. I can't imagine the rest of my life without him. I hope he can settle for friends. I walk to the window in my room and look over to his room only to find his eyes looking right back at me.

Who am I trying to fool? There's no way Peeta and I could ever just be friends.


End file.
